Author: Josh

Helis is dumb.

Aloy talks to a lot of people and… okay that’s pretty much just the entire episode. I think at some point she shoots some trees?

Horizon Zero Dawn is a pretty big game, so to cover it, we’re doing most of the sidequests in separate streams, so as to not break up the flow of the main episodes. This time, while recruiting everyone we can to the defense of Meridian, we discover Jesus had a rough childhood, and learn how to identify fake Kermits!

Don’t suppose HADES wants to show up and give his side of the story now too?

Brilliant extremely innocent billionaire has a bold new plan to save the world!

Aloy could really do with some runner vision.

Spoiler Warning is 9 years old! Also, we’re trapped in a room! Not to worry though, the only thing standing between us and freedom is a series of convoluted and delicate object puzzles!

So, you know, we’re screwed.

Aloy plays some ancient language trivia.

Aloy meets her maker.

Boy did we get off the rails.